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It can be really difficult— because we often don't want to see it.


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As much as people talk about difficult relationships where we don't want to see how bad things have gotten, the truth is that the very same holds true for friendships. We often stay in bad friendships for the same reasons we stay in bad romantic relationships. We get comfortable with the status quo and just continue on the same path because change is hard! People also stay in toxic relationships because they think their intuition is wrong.

We engage in denial and go on because it's easier than going through the pain of conflict.

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And with close friendships — with best friends— it's even more complicated. Often these people have been in your life for years or even decades. That's a lot longer than most of our relationships last. But just because they've been there forever, doesn't mean that they're good for you. So here are the signs that your best friend is toxic, because going way back is no excuse:.

You know this one — because it's the most annoying effing thing in the world. If you are always listening to them, being there for them, and yet never having it returned, it's definitely a one-way street.

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Lindsay Dodgson. Facebook Icon The letter F. Link icon An image of a chain link. It symobilizes a website link url. Email icon An envelope. It indicates the ability to send an email. Twitter icon A stylized bird with an open mouth, tweeting. LinkedIn icon The word "in". Fliboard icon A stylized letter F. You have to clock about hours before you're worthy of the "BFF" title. Of course, no relationship boils down to maths alone, but it could increase your chances. Sociology Humans. Check mark icon A check mark. Read the tips below to learn how to deal with your girlfriend's male friend and make the best of the situation.

Was this helpful? She has a lot of male friends, what should I do? I don't want to sound jealous or insecure? I love her a lot, and I want to marry her? What to do? When you and your girlfriend get together, the two of you will share a lot of information about your personal lives, and the topic of friends will come up. It is very important that you pay close attention to the things she tells you about her friends. Also, there will be a time where the option of meeting that person will come up. Most males tend to stray away and act as if we don't care to meet the other guy, but we definitely do.

Meeting her friends can turn out to be a great thing for both you and your girlfriend.


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  • When you meet the friend for the first time, remember that you only get one shot at making the best impression that you can with her friend. Advertisement Was this step helpful? Yes No I need help 2 Communicate positively. Upon meeting this person, try to not seem as if you really do not want to meet them. Go into the meeting with positive thoughts, and do not consider him competition or an obstacle in your relationship, as he is only her platonic friend.

    He likely has the same position in her life as her female friends. They will notice how you act towards them, and this first impression can either make you friends or enemies. Talk to the guy, find common interests, and try your best to get in good with him. It will help your relationship a lot by being friends with him because your girlfriend will see how much you care about the people in her life, and that will score you points with her.

    The downside to the meeting is that if it does not go well, you two may possibly become enemies. This may cause tension between you and your girlfriend when she talks to him or talks to you about him. Another downside to messing up the meeting will be having to worry about the friend trying to mess up your relationship because he doesn't like you. Therefore, the introduction is very important in determining whether or not her guy friend will be a friend to you or an enemy.

    Yes No I need help 3 Know your position. In your relationship, it is important to be close to your girlfriend's male friend, while not taking his friendship with her away. If you do this, it will likely cause problems between you and your significant other. Some relationships face the issue of the boyfriend not knowing their position with the male friend. They forget that the friend is not only theirs but their girlfriend's as well.

    A best friend is "a therapist you can drink with," and much more.

    You have to make sure that you pace your relationship with the male friend and ensure that you are not spending more time with the friend more than your girlfriend. If this happens, she may get jealous of the relationship and either pull you away from the friend or pull the friend away from you. Was this step helpful? Yes No I need help 4 Have confidence in yourself.

    Do not act like you are jealous of her male friend. Be secure with yourself and realize that you are the person she chose to be in a romantic relationship, not her friend. If you act very insecure or jealous, she will likely be turned off by this behavior, and it could even ruin your relationship. Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and if you act suspicious of her relationship with her male friend, she will feel that you do not trust her or doubt her integrity as a person.

    If your girlfriend is neglecting you or your relationship because she is spending more time with her friend than you, then you have every right to bring it up, but do not project your own insecurities onto their friendship. Yes No I need help 5 Respect their friendship for what it is. You may not be happy that the male friend is "imposing" and "talking to your girl" too much.

    However, you must remember that this is not just some guy; he is her best friend. The friend has the right to contact your girlfriend when necessary, so handle your dislike for that aspect and understand that he was her friend before you were even in her life. Most boyfriends tend to have the "I don't care attitude" about the male friend, when in reality, you may feel that the male friend is a threat to your relationship in some way.

    However, if it bothers you that much, talk to your girlfriend and let her know if it makes you uncomfortable. However, realize that the friend knows everything about your girlfriend before you even knew her, making him incredibly important to her. If you have an issue with the friend in the relationship, it is important to let your girlfriend know about the issue. However, ultimatums should not be given to your girlfriend on the matter of choosing between you and the friend. Pick your battles wisely when challenging the male friend; arguing about the friend is not something that your relationship needs.

    As stated before, you do not want to make him the enemy. If your girlfriend wants to go out with her male friend, let her go. Do not argue about it and show complete trust. Unless, of course, if the two of you are enemies and you have a real reason to be concerned.

    Only in those cases is it OK to question the details of their hangouts. Even though her friend may be your enemy and should be watched carefully, it does not mean you have the right to stop them from being friends. Yes No I need help 6 Keep negative comments to yourself. This is one of the most important aspects of handling the male friend, especially if you and the friend do not get along.

    When with the friend, it is important to not complain about your girlfriend, as the friend will repeat some or everything mentioned in the conversation. This is something that is more likely to happen if you are friends with the male. So your best bet is to not say anything that she would not want to hear during conversations with him. If he has something negative to say, do not comment on the matter.

    However, if it is overly offensive, then it would be appreciated by your girlfriend if you defended her. At the same time, respect the friend, and do not make bad comments about him to your girlfriend.

    It takes roughly 200 hours to become best friends with someone, according to science

    This may cause her to tell him about the comments you made, turning him into your enemy, or if he is already an enemy, he will resent you even more. Keep the conversations positive, and avoid a he-said, she-said situation. Let him help you to guard your girlfriend to avoid others from bullying your girlfriend. Ask him to inform you of your girlfriend's activities, like if he knows where she is going or who she is hanging out with. You can also ask him to notice when others are courting your girlfriend.

    Take care not to appear like a stalker and pry into her business too much, though. If you ask too much, he might get the wrong idea and warn her that you're being paranoid. You can ask him if it would be OK to contact him if you cannot reach your girlfriend. This could be a hard boyfriend's mission especially when we are talking about longtime friends.

    Best friends

    You may want to talk to your girlfriend or your girlfriend's male friend about how you feel, and instead of keeping him away, why not befriend him too? Your girlfriend may not appreciate feeling like she has to choose between you and a friend. Unless there is something inappropriate going on between your girlfriend and her male pal, there is no need to keep them away from each other.

    Yes No I need help That is the first mistake that you can make in regards to your girlfriend's male friend. It is very important that you do your best to either balance out the situation on your own or to address the situation to your girlfriend. Do not by any means try any tricks or anything to keep them away from your girlfriend in a negative way or by acting negatively towards the friend for you can end up losing her in the act of performing such an action.

    Yes No I need help Should I be worried if my girlfriend is meeting up with a guy friend? There is nothing to be worried about if your girlfriend only sees her guy friend as a pal and nothing more. It is when you notice that she spends more time with him and seems happier than she is around you that you should start hitting the panic button. If it is worrying you, then you may want to talk this out with your girlfriend. Tell her that you do not really feel good about her meeting up with this friend on a regular basis.

    If your girlfriend only meets up with her male friend occasionally, then let her. Being in a relationship should not stop you from seeing other friends, especially when the friendship between them was there even before you came around. Yes No I need help One of the basic foundation of having a strong relationship is to have a complete trust in each other.

    Without trust, a relationship will not prosper or even makes the relationship to break. In response to your query, if your girlfriend truly loves you and you truly loves her back, you need to completely trust her and try to dispel away the negative feeling of jealousy because it will just only make your relationship at risk for breaking up.

    Instead, try to be more supportive to your girlfriend and also make friends to her guy friend. In this way, you are positively making yourself more worthy to your girlfriend's eyes and making her know that you totally support all her actions and considers her friend to be one of your friends.