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I know exactly what you mean about the condolences from when my father died. Our relationship was nowhere near as bad as yours he had given up the drinking for 25 years by then but he had still pushed me into going VLC before the end.

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I still had to arrange the funeral, so I decided unilaterally to interpret the condolences as being for having to deal with his crap one last time! I've never minced words about my n moo.


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Glad you have peace for yourself and your kids. You probably mourned the loss of your mother years ago when you realized you didn't really have what society considers a mother.

Devastating note left by girl, 10, who ‘killed herself to make mum happy’

So her actual death was more of a confirmation than a loss. I missed her actual death by about 10 minutes, I was with her until then. She didn't respond to any of us then she was gone. I don't feel anything much about her; I seem to be grieving for a mother I never had. She was so hostile, demanding and difficult much of the time. This is a good way of putting it. When Golden Child Brother expresses confusion on why I'm not crying more at her future funeral, I think I will put it something like "I mourned the death of our relationship years ago".

Can we not call suicide selfish please? As someone who was pushed to suicidal depression by my mother, it only makes me feel worse thinking that me losing that fight was "selfish". We don't call people who die of cancer selfish. I feel like I can identify with what you're saying. A member of my family killed himself a few years ago -- inside the house where other members of my family were. It would be SO easy to call that selfish because that's certainly what it looked like.


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  • But he was going through a spiral of depression and addiction, and honest to god he was trying to pull himself out of it, even completing an impressive addiction recovery program. If I had to describe it in one word, I would call the depression debilitating. Under those circumstances, I wouldn't feel comfortable calling suicide a "choice" -- choice is something rational people do, and have the capacity to do. But chronic depression robs people of their rationality.

    Suicide is so far outside of how most of us experience life that the only, ahem, rational explanation to many of us is that it WAS a deliberate, selfish act. And I'm saying we can't try to rationalize an irrational act. I'm with you: let's not call it selfish because we just have no way of getting inside that person's head to find out what happened. I'm so happy you did whatever you had to do to get out of danger, TinyElizabeth. Well it depends.

    Is the victim leaving loving family behind with the choice of suicide? You however seem like someone who was pushed to the edge at a vulnerable time. Use the modmail link! Traumatized people who were abused by their parents and seeking support around that trauma is not selfish. I see you've made nasty comments before.

    If we have to remove any further comments of yours, you will be banned. Fix your mindset. Suicide isn't selfie. She could have been narcissistic and terrible that isn't a selfish act. This comment has been removed. Please tread carefully when labeling suicide in this way.

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    If I make an error, I do my best to correct it I have a brother who has been plagued with suicide attempts over the last 30 years, and his depression has controlled his life. This is the mom you had. Unfortunately I know what you mean about the parts that are a relief. My mom, to my understanding, is homeless and ill, married to a man in prison for murder her 4th, someone she sought out for some reason. My nmom tried to kill herself on mother's day a few years ago and I'm so angry that by a fluke of luck I knew something was up and had to save her.

    It's hard to have feelings for someone who has feelings for nobody but herself at least in my personal experience.

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    But on the flip side if it ever did start to effect you That's okay too. The brain sometimes decides to flip-flop on all reason or logic in situations like these.

    Loving mum killed herself after losing husband, brother and son to suicide - Mirror Online

    This is how I expect to feel when my nMother dies. Our relationship is long dead, she is mentally ill and getting worse, we are VLC. My dad is a bipolar nalcoholic. He blames me for everything from original sin to the rise in gas prices. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

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    Click here for an amazing post with resources for ACoNs. Click here to open all the other RBN subreddits multi This is a support group for people raised by a parent with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders. What is a narcissist? If you suspect you may be a narcissist, Read Help!

    I Think I am a Narcissist! Do not derail the posts of others. Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. Flaming will not be tolerated. No links or recommendations to hate groups. No posts or comments advocating violence, murder or revenge even in jest. No posts about N-kids. His father, Andrew Pollack, spoke with the Miami Herald , telling Parkland students if they were suffering that they could reach out to him.

    Meadow and Sydney were friends for a long, long time," said Pollack. She filled her days cheerleading, doing yoga, and brightening up the days of others.

    Sydney aspired to work in the medical field helping others in need. She shared a post last June about how the friends of Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, and Kate Spade — all of whom killed themselves — described them as happy people. She also posted about teaching yoga classes at a local studio, and shared news stories about Parkland survivors and parents of victims. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is Desperate to be with Knickerbocker, prosecutors said, Diane tried to get rid of her own children. Diane, according to investigators, became obsessed with Knickerbocker. She would write him letters every day, but they would be returned unopened.

    As investigators learned about her relationship with Knickerbocker, Diane increasingly fell under suspicion in the shootings of her children. Meanwhile, Diane herself kept giving interviews about what had happened, always denying she had anything to do with it. She, however, denied ever changing her account. But no evidence was found to support Diane's story. What was found, though, was a. Steve, her ex, and Knickerbocker had both told authorities that she owned the gun, a fact that Diane did not disclose, investigators said. In February , Diane was arrested.