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I found that really jarring, but then that sensation was followed by an immediate sense of shame for perceiving Joy Division as a band of such pure, personal sacrifice that even speculating on the idea of Ian going on to be a visual artist, or a novelist, or anything other than just being in Joy Division, felt almost blasphemous to me. I felt the shame because I realised that was just a really shit way of thinking.

And I wondered if any similar ideas played into you putting the book together and whether you came at it wanting to protect, in amber, the mythos that has gathered around the band, or if you wanted to dig around, uncover something new? I always want to do something new. I was friends with Rob Gretton, Tony Wilson and Martin Hannett more than I was the band themselves, who were agreeable but insular, as in fact bands should be. To me, it was a combination of circumstances ganging up on Ian, as well as a certain predisposition.

Paul Morley talks about it very well in the book. His father had committed suicide just before Ian, and he talks about the strange thrill of the idea in a very interesting way. To me, it felt as though all those voices were circling this energy at the core of the story, and I wondered if you felt that Ian was the AWOL protagonist of the book, or just the person who was closest to the "searing light" of its title? Well, you could call the book In Search of Ian Curtis. And we will always be in search of Ian Curtis, because no matter how many books or films there are, he remains a question, an enigma, a rebus, that will never be solved.

Do you not think so? It might seem heretical, but what I do find interesting, and why I did the book, is the music and the performances. Going back to that question you asked me: the only way I can really talk about Ian "channeling" something is in the context of some other energetic plane.

In other words, something out of the ken of the everyday. We only use a certain percentage of our cerebral potential. It is possible to travel through time. It is possible to channel things. One of my favourite Joy Division songs was always "Dead Souls" — it just frightens the hell out of me. I still get hairs on the back of my neck when he sings, "They keep calling me," referring to all these voices and figures of the past — and I think, 'Yeah, you were actually experiencing that.

Ian came out on stage, had a brief calibration, then went nuts; no holds barred. What were your initial experiences of going to Manchester and seeing Joy Division live? The first time was October, By that stage, London punk had become awful: terrible groups, everyone was taking cocaine — ugggh! Punk already seemed over. I went with them to the last night at the Electric Circus, which was this punk club in Manchester in the middle of this bloody post-war bomb-site — a derelict s council estate, which was just trashed.

They had some competent punk groups on, who were terrible, then all these weird groups. The Buzzcocks and The Fall played, but the groups I really liked were the real outliers. There was a group called The Prefects from Birmingham who had one song they played that night that was just the singer Rob Lloyd shouting, "I've got VD!

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And then Warsaw came on, who obviously became Joy Division. Is that the one with the Northern Soul track on it? Yeah, their version of "Keep On Keeping On", which is just fantastic and described at great length in the book. Fuck off! What did you want to learn when you were putting the book together? The reason I ask is because the opening sections of the book map this sprawling social history of Manchester in a way that is really fascinating, and brings in this kind of buried occult history of the city that I think has perhaps been lost over time.

I was very friendly with Martin Hannett and we used to smoke a few joints in the middle of the night and drive round the oddest parts of Manchester, which were all half-derelict. I just loved it. There was this kind of urban drift that goes into basic Situationist ideas of mapping and changing the city, that were in the music and that Rob Gretton and Tony Wilson were very interested in. There's something very widescreen about them.

And that I am 16 years removed from high school. So sometimes it's hard to relate. It's been said many times that Shay Savage is the queen of male POV and the queen of the asshole hero. And yes, Thomas was an asshole in the first few chapters. But once he meets the heroine, Nicole, darn if I didn't fall in love with him. Yeah, he was a bit possessive and OTT at times. Who doesn't like that every once in awhile? But he was so sweet with Nicole. It made me smile. The first half of the book was definitely a slower pace.

So yeah, I've told you nothing about the book. Read the blurb. I was entertained by this one. It's probably not like anything you are expecting. But I just loved Thomas. And I especially loved the ending. View all 70 comments. It doesn't bother me, so it didn't hinder my enjoyment in the slightest.

I wasn't planning on reading anything after finishing my last book. For a few days at least I'm a true book addict and I always manage to sneak in some time. The last thing I expected was to start a book thinking it would be a quick and easy read, and end up so moved that I had to spend all day rehashing the plot, characters, the beautiful message and the way it was presented in such a thought provoking, riveting way.

I started this last night, and once I began, all I could do was involuntarily hang on until the very end. The compulsion was too strong; it was impossible to put down. But it was so much more than that. It was the struggle of a boy who lost his mother and his only guidance is his father's hateful, narcissistic, and brutal influence. His struggle to survive in the minefield that his home has become.

And his struggle to earn his father's acceptance and forgiveness to relieve the heavy burden of guilt that has overtaken every moment of his life. This boy who seems to have no redeeming qualities, who's arrogant, selfish, angry, and without a shred of honor? That's Thomas. Don't fucking forget it. I thought to myself, "I really hate this guy. So why can't I stop? This wasn't written in a fluffy, mindless, YA way.

The writing had a depth and clarity to it that overrode my doubts. The hero was horribly flawed but humanly relatable. And his journey to redemption was slow but natural and genuine. He didn't magically have a complete personality change just because of her. It was a long road, but in the end, he he fought for every bit of peace that was earned. Nicole is the new girl in town. She caught the eye of Thomas right from the start, but unlike all the other girls in school, she wouldn't give him the time of day.

She's not fooled by his surface charm and his good looks. But her resistance only stirs his curiosity in her and the challenge she presents. She's a beautiful mystery with intelligence and strength. And he's drawn to her. This girl never gave him an inch. I loved how unimpressed she was with his status as the school soccer star and son to the mayor. She didn't care about his money or popularity and she wasn't about to let him forget it. Her eyes narrowed, and Rumple's little kitten claws came out, tearing at me.

There were such sweet and heart melting moments between this couple. I can't explain how deeply I felt their connection. She was his life raft in the ocean of solitary loneliness he's been living in. It was so beautiful seeing him finally grasp onto the comfort and love she gave him. And then there were some scenes that were so intense and heartbreaking, I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and comfort him. I turned my head toward her, something inside of me letting go I didn't know what this was, but I couldn't stop it.

I buried my face against the skin of her neck and wrapped my arms around her waist.. I heard myself scream over and over again-my throat going raw from the force of it-until my body collapsed against her, and she held onto me. Thomas and Nicole were living on borrowed time, however. His father was a maniacal, controlling, self-serving person who's only aim in life was to see his son play professional soccer and become a star.

His son's love of Shakespeare, sketching, and having a girlfriend were considered a distraction from that goal. He was willing to hurt anyone in his path, including his son, to get that. Thomas was just waiting for the day when she would be lost to him and he didn't know how he would survive on his own again. With that much of the book to go, I was puzzled how the author would wrap everything up with this pace in mind.

I loved that this book was completely in his POV and I got to see his progression and transformation the entire way through. I loved this couple's banter, their tenderness, and their endurance through some extreme struggles that only made them even stronger in the end. I loved the emotions that this book evoked and the way I left my reading experience feeling fulfilled and unable to stop thinking about my time spent within the pages. It was, in a word: fantastic. And I can't wait to read more from this author. View all 61 comments. Jul 12, NMmomof4 rated it really liked it Shelves: athlete , college , favorites , famous-wealthy-popular , not-safe , safe-with-exception , 4-star , artist-mc , unlikely-couple , re-read.

I am dropping my rating from 5 stars to 4, however, mainly because of the pacing. It was on the longer side at pages in my kindle app, and I really do think it could've been edited down. There were some things when looking back at it that weren't all that relevant or needed for the overall storyline. I did feel like it was slow at some points, and I think it might be because of those moments. While I really do appreciate the closure on all aspects of the story and my followers know how much I hate not having closure! They meet at school when they have a class together.

Thomas is the star soccer player with a mayor for a dad, and Nicole is the mysterious new girl. Thomas is instantly drawn to her, and can't get her out of his head -- which is something new for him. The more time they spend together, the more their feelings get stronger and they fall in love. There is some major family conflicts going on, a few cute and funny moments, as well as a few sexy times Overall Pace of Story: My biggest issue with the book.

It felt slow at times, and then towards the end it felt rushed and jam packed full of things happening. I never skimmed though. Instalove: No, but instant connection and instalust. H rating: 4 stars. I liked him. He was a major douche and completely unlovable at first, but he grew on me and I really liked how he cared for the h. I liked her. I appreciated how she didn't let the H get away with his typical act with her. Sadness level: Low, no tissues needed but I do remember tearing up a few times the first time I read it. I would say the H is the main pursuer of the relationship. They have some good tension, chemistry, and scenes -- but not many scenes and it doesn't takes away from the story.

Descriptive sex: Yes Safe sex: Yes and no view spoiler [ Mentions of the h being on birth control, but they go without condoms. I don't remember any mention of std statuses or previous practices. This is before he officially meets the h. Safety: This one should be either Safe with exception or Not Safe for most safety gang readers depending on personal preferences.

View all 8 comments. Jan 26, Penny rated it it was amazing Shelves: reviewed , n-read-new-adult. Actual Rating 4. I really liked this book. It made me cry like a baby , several times. It is such an emotional book. There are many things going on, the story is not just about one things. It is definitely no just about a romance between two people. It is so much more. When I though the book had to be getting naturally towards the end, as most books would have at that point, a whole new set of circumstances happened and I realized I still had almost half a book left to read.

It was Actual Rating 4. It was an incredible ride. I got to love the characters even though I couldn't stand Thomas at the beginning. I liked the love story, but I loved even more Thomas story. He is heartbreaking and an ass. He is so vulnerable that you want to wrap him up and take care of him despite his assholeness. Shay Savage has done it again. It seems every time I finish a book of hers all my internal debates center on whether to give 4 or 5 stars to her book.

This time, I decided on not giving the 5 stars because of a few things: - It took me some time to get into it. Seeing how things were going at the beginning I didn't know if I would be interested enough. I am not sure it was necessary and seemed too external. The way their lives are wrapped up: - view spoiler [The whole way the marriage thing happens makes no sense to me in correlation with what the two of them have gotten trough and how their relationship has evolved. It just boggles my mind. It affects several aspects. The way the college things goes with both of them.

Nicole has a scholarship in community college and then he goes there too, and yet he has millions of dollars. Apparently, he wants to provide for himself to his family, when again he already has tones of money and could be doing amazing things. It is all explained of course, from Thomas side of things, but I don't understand it. It makes no sense to me. It is not a rational explanation. He doesn't want to really depend on that money and yet he is tearing down his old house and building a new one in its place, surely with that money.

He has obviously paid his rehabilitation and medical bills with that many too. He also gives money away to some people, which I don't have a problem with, for the record. But it is not ok to use that money to pay for university for Nicole and other stuff like not having to be dependent on a job if one doesn't want to and improve the lives of the people you love and have care for you like Greg and Gardner. Maybe he wants to fill fulfilled, but there are a millions ways to be able to fill that way without having to follow american society's job and career mentality.

It is constricted and short-sighted. There are so many possibilities out there! Then, the excuse for tearing down the house is that it didn't sell because of the suicide, even when he got the price down several times Come on, keep lowering the price, there are millions of people who would want to buy it. I don't understand why after how good and intense the story has gone, in a few concluding lines the thing becomes incoherent.

I think I am just going to go ahead and read all Shay Savage's books. View all 6 comments. Aug 05, S. West rated it it was amazing Shelves: kickass-heroine , sexy-athlete , topof , favourties , fave-author. This story just seemed so far off from Surviving Raine or her Evan Arden series. And it is!! But silly me, so is Worth and Transcendence! Shay Savage is one brilliant author and I have loved all that I have read of hers.

Her writing is superb. No matter the story, Ms. Savage has the ability to build this strong and binding connection to her characters. No matter their age or their era. While I know very little about soccer I know a lot more about some of the scrumptious players than the game! This was a riveting, emotional read for me.

This story deals with some real, tough issues but it's beautifully, maturely and realistically done. Also, as a Shakespeare fan, I was thrilled with the quotes and references throughout. Shay Savage is one of my all time fave authors! Offside was an absolutely thrilling and heartwarming surprise! View all 23 comments. Jul 22, Elaine rated it it was amazing Shelves: books-that-made-me-cry , favorites , best-reads.

Then he meets Nicole his Rumple I wanted to know her. My thoughts. I so enjoyed this story. Thomas was another of Shay Savage's tortured souls but although the main characters are younger, I was so totally taken with Thomas and Nicole Told through his POV, you get a wonderful but at times heartbreaking insight to this young man. But you find out quite early on that there is so much more to this guy. My feelings were all over the place, it was funny, emotional and at times I felt I was holding my breath with the darker side to this story and there is a darker side.

View all 14 comments. Regardless, if you want a review that's kind of separate from the whole fanfic umbrella regarding this book, here you go So when I cracked this one open I was excited. But sadly, my overall feeling when I was done? Please refrain from stoning me. I am upset with myself also for not loving this; but I will keep this brief and vague so that you too can go in blind and maybe read it differently then I did.

But for me it went like this: The beginning started off pretty strong, but then flagged a little. There were some hot moments, complete with a crazy Shay Savage alpha male doing his crazy alpha male dance - yummy. But the female lead in this I don't want to spoil this "reveal" aspect of the book for anyone felt kind of flat to me.

She almost reminded me of - dare I say it - a watered down version of Raine a little bit? Don't get me wrong, the writing was Shay Savage awesome and the story was interesting enough I just felt like there were a lot of plot twists some of them unnecessary? Aug 03, Mariam marked it as dnf. The hero, Thomas, was a grade A man-whore. He already got a blowjob from a random girl within the first few pages. He was too arrogant, treated girls like shit, and bullied anyone beneath him. Add that to the fact that the writing was so exaggerated. All the screaming, shrieking, yelling and his father's abuse.

I loved this author's style of writing so much in the previous books, but this one. I felt like it was so shallow and immature. I don't have anything against P2P fanfics and as far as I know, most of Savage's books were originally fanfics and they were amazing. Long story short: I did not like them. How am I suppose to read the book if I don't even like the main characters? It was too similar to Twilight. I wished she switched things up a bit.

Maybe made a college romance instead of a High School book. The heroine, Nicole I'm not even sure if she has a personality. She just kept turning him down. He kept going after her cause he felt like she was different. View all 7 comments. Offside Summary: I have to be the best. Ther Offside Summary: I have to be the best. Offside is coming August 5th!

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View all 11 comments. Jul 30, Michelle rated it really liked it Shelves: signed. The one that gets what he wants, no matter what. Students, teachers But all that is about to change when she arrives. Nicole Skye moves across the country to live with her father to have a fresh start. She knows she should stay away from guys like Malone but there is something a 4. When the school rumors pick up and suddenly Nicole finds herself the center of attention, Thomas is bound to make it right.

But for Thomas, his focus was expected to be solely on soccer. Being the best, going pro. Never letting anything take his focus away.

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The action and suspense that I have come to adore morphed into a swirl of emotions as this author took me to a place where instead of my heart racing in anticipation it was breaking. The character development was superb. Thomas had so many sides to him; rough angles, sharp edges and soft curves. His mouth spit out venom and beauty and this girl was tumbling into a freefall of feels for this broken boy. Not every girl has to be insecure to find love and been seen. Shay gave her a voice that was strong and tender. At first, I thought this was just a simple sports romance, but I was wrong!

Oh, I was wrong again! I could tell it was different from other books. The story itself was good and interesting. The first half of the story was about Thomas and Nicole, how they met and became friends. It w At first, I thought this was just a simple sports romance, but I was wrong! It was OK, nothing exciting But the second half took me by surprise! I felt like I couldn't turn the pages fast enough to see what would happen next. In my opinion, this wasn't a love story anymore, but it was a story of Thomas' life. While reading what happened to him after he broke up with Nicole, I found myself experienced intense feelings of love, hate, anger, fear, hope, trust, sorrow, and joy.

Shay Savage did a great job of creating this likable hero. Thomas was by far the most well-developed character in this story. Every tough path he passed and every difficult time he had been through, all these things turned him into a MAN! When the truth was revealed, I was so relieved.

I was glad that finally Thomas had his truly happy family. I loved the epilogue, here, he was surrounded by people he loved and who unconditionally loved him back, and accepted him the way he was. View all 3 comments. Now things were in perspective, and though it wasn't what I thought it was going to be, I knew I had the chance to make something of myself. I always try to take my reads by the grain of salt but Offside kind of started off slow, th 3 "Rumple-Kitten" stars!! Was kind of anti-climatic to be honest.

Sex, trauma, abuse, self identity, and making choices. This is what this story dwindles around. So all in all, this story was a seesaw for me really. Lots of ups and downs and sometimes red flags in my book, but, strangely okay enough for me to like it in some respect. View all 9 comments.

Aug 06, Sandra rated it did not like it Shelves: winter-in-pandemonium , rewritten-fanfiction. Edward Cullen became Thomas Malone. That's about all. Nope, nope, nope. I RECOMMEND this to everyone who has ever felt like they couldn't trust anyone, like they're alone, like they can't tell anybody what's going on at home, like they had to hide who they truly are. I promise you, people notice and there are people who care enough to do something. I swear this book is a roller coaster of emotions. I know it sounds cliche, but that's just how it is.

Thomas is just a guy that you can't help but love, feel sorry for, want to take care of, hu 5 totally emotional stars! Thomas is just a guy that you can't help but love, feel sorry for, want to take care of, hug and never let go of. He's imperfect.

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When this book started, I knew right then and there, he's wan ass. He was uncontrollable. He was kind of violent, and also kind of manipulative. He has many personas. He could be charming, sweet and disarming one minute then violent the next! He also has this weird side. His smart side. I say weird because when you read about him, the way he orders people around and the way he thinks he's the king of the school, you'd think he must not be that smart.. He's asshole and genius all rolled into one.

I say genius because he really is.

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He's good at academics, really good at literature and damn good at art! I was intrigued by his character and a little angry about his actions Until I met his DAD. My anger, frustration, the want to bash someone with my e-reader? They were all focused on him and him alone. I swear. Everything that he did in this book, I wanted to somehow go inside the book, hunt him down, then burn him alive! That's how much I hate him! There really wasn't anything to be proud about when it comes to his home life. It was just a wreck.

Offside by Shay Savage

I wanted to hug him, hell I even cried for him many times! He needed someone to save him from all that, someone who will truly care enough and someone who will stay. That's where Nicole comes to the picture. What can I say about Nicole? She also isn't perfect. She has a temper on her. She's sassy, sporty, has a smart mouth on her too and the way Thomas describes her, she must be oh so pretty. It's like she knows how to deal with each one of them, albeit, she had a hard time at first.

I love that she stuck around. I love how she just makes everything more comfortable with him and I love just how Thomas can be himself and open up to her. I just love her for him. The other characters are also here to make the story more real to me. For example, Nicole's dad. There are bad dads, but there are also awesome dads. One of them is Nicole's. I love how Greg can be serious one time, then all hilarious the next. I love it that he didn't let Thomas' psat reputation bother him.

I'm so happy that he understands where Thomas is coming from. In end, he's one of the rocks that Thomas held on so that means a lot. He means a lot to this book! That's amazing. It goes to show that even fictionally, people are inherently good. There are just some bad apples. The book revolves around Thomas and his dad's want for him to be a pro soccer play. Does he want that though? To be honest, I don't know if he really knew what he wanted here -- not until the end that is because by that time, all he wanted was to be with Nicole.

So there.

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Read and see just how far his dad will take his frustrations out on him. It also revolves around Thomas figuring out his purpose in life. I know, I know, it's hard to know your purpose when you're just However, he needed it. He needed to know that there's more to life than He needed to figure out his worth and his role in other people's lives.

I'm telling you now, this book has growth. I feel like I've known Thomas' character all his life after reading this. Again, I'm saying that you'll feel so many emotions for him and with him. Oh and while you're reading this, I advise that you remember Everything can change in just a blink of an eye They're not all that bad. View 2 comments. Thanks Nicole, the decimal came in handy! Latch by Daniela Andrade Cover So to say I had extremely high hopes about this one would be an understatement.

I think I assumed I knew what kind of book this would be and figured it'd be a quick light but sexy read and then I'd go back to the books I'm supposed to be reading. Well whoops on my part because this book was nothing like I thought it would be. And that's both a good and bad thing. This book is entirely in the male POV, Thomas Malone who is a high school soccer player who on the outside seems like he's living the perfect life. I'm not going to lie in the beginning I was all: Thomas was such a douchebag!

Like a serious, asshole. He treated everyone around him like they were beneath him and acted like he was king or something. It pissed me off so bad. I was a little worried I wouldn't be able to connect with him but upon reading a few more chapters, I learned the many costumes of Thomas. The amount of stuff Thomas has gone through I don't want to give anything away but I will say that I hated his father so much. He's pure evil. Like "if he stepped into a church he would burn" kind of evil.

I seriously wished death upon him so many times and I can't say I'm sad for the way things worked out for him. Maybe that's harsh, especially if you've read the book, but I don't care. I hate him. Nicole, the heroine was also a pretty damaged character but on entirely different spectrum as Thomas. I just missed being inside the girls head and I found myself wondering what she was thinking and what her thoughts of Thomas and other things was. I really liked it. Not as much as I thought I would, but it was an entertaining read. It was much longer then I thought it would be almost pages but I didn't mind.

But I did have some problems with it: 1. The constant use of Shakespeare quotes throughout the book and at the end of every chapter. It annoyed the crap out of me and honestly just felt weird being there.